Marcels Tribute to UNCLE SIDNEY

Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonis, two Stanford University academics extensively researched humor and its role in life, business and socially. In addition to numerous articles, research papers and a Ted Talk, they published a book, “Humor, Seriously”.

One of their observations struck me immediately in relation to Uncle Sidney.

“When we live our lives on the precipice of a smile, we shift how we interact with the world, and in turn, how it interacts back”.

I think of my Uncle Sidney as a unique, ambulant lighthouse. Always sprightly and bright, and winking a flight path to his personal brand of discretion, intelligence, unfailing grace, smiling humor and inexhaustible patience and love for his family and friends.

I realized too late to take full advantage, what a unique portal Uncle Sidney was to the past, to the memories of the Goschalk and extended families from Poland to the East End and on to various compass points of the Jewish diaspora.

Ever scrupulous of sensitivities and attentive to his implicit high-bar obligation to respect people, both in the present and from the past, you felt Uncle Sidney tiptoeing through his memories, not divulging anything a figure from the past would find upsetting.

He did tell me the story of the women who asked his father to keep their chickens in his large commercial butcher’s fridge, which came wrapped with names written in ink. The ink often ran in the fridge. When they came to fetch their birds, there were sometimes fierce, squawking arguments claiming the largest chickens, much annoying his mother.

I asked my daughter Ronit what memories she had of Uncle Sidney. Just the question, provoked her smile. Ronit told me, Uncle Sidney had this aura of always being respectful of everyone he encountered and that she had the impression he was someone who with the easiest grace, would get to wherever he wanted to, without any risk of harming anyone or getting in anyone’s way. She always saw his smile. And, he was the easiest person to talk to, fun, serious and engaging in conversation. Once, they talked about challenges and work. And, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, Uncle Sidney responded, but that’s precisely what makes life interesting. You see something you would like to do, you learn how to do it, and you do it.”

Within the dynamics of families, as you grow up, numerous things impact you, your relationships, and interactions. Different strands of family character and personality manifest themselves. On reaching adulthood, new dynamics appear. Work, marriage, moving away, new surroundings, distance from roots. All along, family background somehow provided its fleeting, sepia, backdrop.

My father Alex, an iconoclastically inflexible judge of others, always spoke very favorably of Uncle Sidney, praising his person, character, talents and skills.

From Antwerp, where I had moved and started raising a family and working, I was intermittently in touch with parts of the family. A generation passed by before I realized I was missing out and how important it was to keep in touch with family.

That was made all the more salient when I reached out to Uncle Sidney who, matter of fact, shared with me, that he always tried to visit and share in family Simchos, if he could. His visits to Antwerp confirmed this. I try to take this lesson to heart.

The Uncle Sidney I knew enjoyed a Scotch, good books, family and friends, travel and always, learning.

L’Chaim Uncle Sidney, it was a privilege and a rich blessing to know you.

I will try and follow your flight path.

Marcel Pruwer